


Eat Your Heart Out, Love

by littlebluewhalen



Series: The Process of Getting Over It [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Growing Up, Hurt/Comfort, Lukanette, adrien/kagami, adrigami, adrinette mention - Freeform, also might lowkey be developing depression but its fine, luka is such a good sweet boy, mari is just exhausted and she deserves better, so is adrien but he is so oblivious i cannot deal with it anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 09:21:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21052028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebluewhalen/pseuds/littlebluewhalen
Summary: Just when Marinette has had enough with her life, her heart gets broken on top of everything else, and no one is there to pick up the pieces but herself - or so she thinks. Or: Marinette receives the love she deserves. Lukanette.





	Eat Your Heart Out, Love

**Author's Note:**

> So I haven't seen any of the current season of ML really, because of how messed up the episode order is, so I'm currently waiting for them to come out so I can watch them in the correct, meant-to-be-watched order. With that being said, I did stumble upon some spoilers for Love Eater, and this is my AU-ish take on it, I suppose. This is probably out of character, but honestly, this is an entirely self-indulgent fanfic, so I don't think it's harming anything.  
Enjoy!

Marinette, above all else, was tired.

Between the emotional drain of her daily, normal school life and the taxing experience that is being Ladybug, she was exhausted. A type of exhausted that she knew that sleep wouldn’t fix – even if hibernating for about four years sounded wonderful.  
Marinette collapsed on her bed, her transformation releasing as she landed softly on her pillows and sheets, staring up at the ceiling. She stared silently, not even wanting to exert the effort or energy to check in on her kwami. She knew Tikki had zoomed to the stash of cookies, she knew she was fine.  
Marinette breathed deeply, and on the exhale, her body pushed further into her lush, soft sheets, her head melding into the pillows.

“Marinette?” A squeaky voice caught her attention, and her eyes flicked over to the source. Tikki was floating silently by her face, before settling on her chest. Marinette said nothing, her eyes drooping, waiting for Tikki to go on. 

“Marinette, are you… okay?” Tikki asked cautiously. Of course the small kwami had noticed that Marinette’s energy and seemingly-endless optimism had been waning lately. Tikki thought it had been like a drive over a cliff; slowly, slowly rolling towards the edge, then careening into the downward spiral once gravity took ahold. Marinette simply shrugged in response, noting how her day clothes scratched her skin, but too tired to change. Tikki frowned, then flew away, and zoomed back over quickly with a cookie, reaching it out to Marinette. This made her chosen smile, and reach a heavy hand up to rub her kwami’s head in affection.

“I’m… so tired, Tikki. Of just… everything.” She relented, pushing the cookie gently back to her dear friend, not in the mood for sweets… or anything, really. Tikki cocked her head lightly, and Marinette looked away, chewing on her lip for how to phrase this in a way that wouldn’t alarm her kwami. 

“I’m just… everything is exhausting. Lying to everyone, for one… having to make excuses and leave… trying to keep up with Marinette’s life, the grades, the fashion line, my life goals… my friendships…” Marinette trailed off at that, her eyes steadfast on the ceiling above her, “Friendships. Ha. Adrien sees me as just a friend, Chat’s been… weirdly distant lately, Alya’s been… well, everyone in class has had some tension with me because of Lila when they aren’t outright hating me. I’m tired of it. And then being Ladybug is just so physically exhausting, and I can’t even talk to anyone about it, not even my parents! Tikki, you’re the only one who’s really there for me, the only one I can really be my true self around. And, I love you so much, but you’re not a human, you don’t have like… a human touch, or whatever. I hope that wasn’t offensive,” Marinette paused, and with an encouraging smile from Tikki, continued, “I can't even allow myself to feel my emotions out of fear of Hawkmoth taking control of them. I can't even be with myself, or I'll be akumatized..." Marinette shut her eyes again, taking a breath and trying to collect her thoughts. "And the whole… Adrien thing. Tikki, I’m… so close to giving up. I know you and Alya tell me not to give up hope, but I think it’s time. It’s time to face reality. This isn’t healthy. I’m sixteen now, I need to get over it. Especially when he doesn’t… when he won’t…” Marinette choked on her words, burying her hands in her eyes, trying not to let anymore tears spill, “A-and Chat! He’s – he’s the only one who understands, but I’ve barely been able to even talk to him, a-and he said that h-his personal life has gotten better, which I’m so h-happy for him, but d-does that mean he was only ever kind to me or nice to me because he had no one else? Is h-he going to-to… to just… forget me when things go his way? I don’t know how to feel!” the girl finally broke, sobbing into her hands, then turning on her side to bury her face in her pillow, heaving with her broken spirit. Tikki looked lost for words, preferring to dig herself into Marinette’s hair, patting her comfortingly. 

Tikki once again felt indignity rise up within her arcane being. What was Fu doing making teenagers the Miraculous holders?! The most powerful ones, at that! She knew he had his reasons, but 14-year-olds didn’t deserve this responsibility, this danger. After two years, of course Marinette was exhausted. Of course she was worn down. 

“All of the stuff we go through, Tikki! Chat and I! I’ve- I’ve seen him almost die so many times. He’s _seen_ me die. Everyday we fight an akuma, I’m scared, because I could lose him forever. And his civilian persona – who would take his body home? Explain to his family? I think about this all of the time and I wish I didn’t have to.” Marinette choked back another sob, her cries of emotional pain, her screams of discomfort being absorbed by her pillow. 

“I just wish I didn’t have to be both. Ladybug and Marinette seem like two separate entities, and I just… I wish I could just be… one. And I’d never give up being Ladybug and letting innocent people get hurt or… or die, you know that. I just… I want to be just Ladybug. For a little while, at least. I wouldn’t have to worry about Adrien, or Alya, or… or anyone else. I wouldn’t have to lie, or hide, I wouldn’t be disliked by people because of outright lies…” Marinette trailed off again, becoming quiet, sniffling occasionally. Tikki sighed, unsure of where to go from here. 

“I’m sorry, Marinette… I’m so sorry.” Tikki replied softly, nuzzling her head. Marinette sniffled again, and they laid there for a long while.

/

The sun was dipping low in the sky now, and when Marinette’s mom came up to inform her of dinner, she saw her daughter was already asleep. Sabine simply sighed, and ran a hand through her daughter’s hair, taking out her pigtails.

“Oh Marinette, I know you’ve been going through so much at school… I love you, sweetheart.” Sabine whispered into the air, before kissing her daughter’s forehead. Sabine gave her daughter another soft look before leaving, stopping at Marinette’s desk, writing a little letter in her notebook about how dinner would be in the fridge, then taking pajamas out of Marinette’s dresser and setting them by the notebook.

As soon as Marinette heard the door to her room shut, she sat up blearily, rubbing her eyes. She had only been half-asleep, really – it was the only way she slept with her Ladybug senses anymore – and had heard what her mom said. She smiled lightly, stretching her arms out, before getting out of her bed and silently, heavily plodding over to her desk.  
She loved her parents, she really did. 

Marinette grabbed her pajamas – just leggings and a large sweatshirt – and peeled her day clothes off before pulling her comfy clothes on. She looked in the mirror, noting just how tired she looked, and ran a hand through her hair. She could hold off on a shower for another day… she just really, really couldn’t gather the energy to take one right now. Besides, she didn’t look _bad_. 

“Tikki, I’m going downstairs to the bathroom.” she called quietly, turning her head towards her bed where Tikki had fallen asleep with her. 

“Okay, Marinette!” A high-pitched voice called back.

Marinette trodded down the stairs, immediately moving towards the bathroom. She sighed, then set to work brushing her teeth and washing her face. She knew she should eat, but… she wasn’t really hungry. And she knew she should do her homework, but… well… what was the point anymore?  
Marinette wasn’t usually one to be cynical, but when you have the weight of Paris on your shoulders with no end in sight, you start to wonder what actually matters. And she didn’t think of Literature homework was one of those things.

She wanted to take a walk in the fresh, brisk fall air, but she didn’t want to be Ladybug. Could she slip past her parents?  
Marinette went back upstairs quietly, putting her purse on and calling out to Tikki. She knew she was in her pajamas, but again – when you’re faced with life and death on a regular basis, who cared about how she was dressed?  
Marinette pulled out a pair of black combat boots, pulled a gray scarf on around her neck, and grabbed her gray earmuffs. She looked in the mirror; she didn’t look bad, again, but with her casual clothes on and her hair down, she wondered if people would have to do a double-take if they saw her. She was simply wearing black leggings and a navy blue “London 1987” sweatshirt; one that she had come upon in a thrift store and was the coziest thing she owned. She sighed again and trudged back down her stairs. It was about 7:30 now, and the sky was turning a cool purple instead of the orange and pink hues it had been for sunset a mere few minutes ago. The bakery had closed an hour and a half ago, and her parents were nowhere to be found. Marinette frowned before she came upon a note on the kitchen counter. 

_Little duck – went to the cinema for the evening to see It: Chapter Two. Your father is so scared, but we must conquer our fears! We will be back later tonight, don’t wait up. If you go somewhere, text us to let us know.  
We love you!_

Marinette blinked before it dawned on her that it was Friday. Marinette smiled at the note, love for her parents filling her body. She knew they’d always be there for her, even if they couldn’t be there for all of her. She once again thought about how lucky she was to have her parents.  
Before she could let any of her intrusive, anxiety-provoking thoughts about Hawkmoth finding out her identity and doing something to her parents, or her parents being caught and injured in an akuma attack, she shook her head, pulled her keys from her purse and walked out of the door, locking it behind her. She breathed in the night air to calm her incredibly frayed nerves. 

With every akuma attack, Marinette grew more and more anxious. After the first time Chat sacrificed himself for her – only for her Miraculous Ladybugs to bring him back – she truly realized the stakes of the game Hawkmoth was hell-bent on winning. She hardly slept because even in her sleep, she was afraid that something was going to happen. When she did go to sleep, it was always a half-sleep, because her body was always on watch, always on alert.  
Marinette shook her head once again; she didn’t come out for a walk just to sink into the oblivion of her mind. She took a deep, calming breath, surging forward once again. She idly walked around town, not really paying attention to where she was going, her body on autopilot. She checked her phone; 8pm. She had been walking around for about half an hour, but really didn’t feel like going back home. Marinette decided to take a walk through the park; maybe nature would help ground her. 

“Oh, no, please, tell me you didn’t!” A voice cackled in Marinette’s ears, shooting through her like lightning. _Please. Please, no._

“I did! I mean, what would you have done?” The voice responded in kind, their laughter tickling her ears, and crushing her heart. Marinette swiftly turned around and made to stride right back out of the park, when, 

“Oh! Is- Is that Marinette?” The voice called out. Marinette froze; she could turn around and pretend that everything is fine, that her heart isn’t broken and that she isn’t broken. Or, she could walk right out of this park, and… be broken, but not have to pretend. Marinette took in a shaky breath to steel herself a turned towards the voices, slapping on a decently cheerful expression, something she’s been accustomed to. 

“Oh! Hi, you guys!” Marinette called, walking over with a smile.

Adrien and Kagami grinned at her, Adrien’s smile reminding her of a golden retriever puppy. He was so happy despite his circumstances; or, at least, she thought so. Maybe he was like her. 

“Wow, I almost didn’t recognize you! I can’t believe in two years I haven’t seen you with your hair down.” Adrien commented, nodding at her. Marinette blushed despite herself, and looked down at the ground shyly. 

“It looks very good. Your hair is very pretty, Marinette.” Kagami agreed, locking eyes with Marinette and smiling. Beside her on the bench, Adrien nodded vigorously in agreement.

“Th-thanks, guys. What are you doing here?” Marinette asked, blushing even more. 

“Oh! Well, we… ah, we’re on… a date.” Kagami said gently. Kagami wasn’t stupid; she knew of Marinette’s feelings for Adrien. Though they hadn’t always been on great terms, Kagami genuinely did like Marinette, and considered her a friend. But Kagami saw it in her blue eyes, the things she hid so well. She saw Marinette’s heart break before her eyes with her words. Marinette said nothing; she stood shock-still. And then, after a few seconds of silence and Adrien confusion, she rebooted up, like a machine. Kagami felt her own heart hurt for her. 

“O…Oh, I- oh! I’m, uh, so sorry to intrude! I was just- just taking a walk, to, you know stretch the legs! A-anyway, I’ll let... let you guys get back to... to your… d-date. Have fun, I… um… I hope... you’re happy! Bye!” Marinette said very quickly, with wide eyes, before turning on her heel and all but running away. Adrien went to get up and run after her, confusion swimming in his green eyes, and Kagami felt annoyance flare up in Marinette’s honor at how dense her beau is. 

“She’s obviously busy, Adrien. Let’s just finish our cocoa. Now, where were we?” Kagami asked, calling his attention back to her. He smiled at her and nodded. She smiled lightly as well, and leaned in, giving him a light kiss on his lips. 

Marinette hated herself, and apparently, she reveled in it. She should have left when she said she would. She shouldn’t have hung around to get a glimpse of their date, she shouldn’t have seen them kiss. She shouldn’t have done any of that. She shouldn’t have taken a walk, she shouldn’t have gone to the park, she shouldn’t have done anything.  
Marinette was tired. She was so, so tired. That was the only thought ricocheting around in her skull as she power-walked out of the park, bent on getting back and burying herself in her bed for the entire weekend. She felt the tears prick from her eyes and swallowed. She didn’t want to cry on the streets. She didn’t want to cry at all anymore. She didn’t want to do anything. 

“God, I am so stupid! I am so… so fucking stupid! I wish I was numb, I wish I just… God I wish I wasn’t Marinette anymore.” And before she knew it, her feet were taking her to the river, and she stopped short just of falling in, her frantic mind causing her body to make frantic moves. She stared into the river, tears rolling down her face, until she suddenly let out a yell and splashed the water, ruining her reflection. Marinette collapsed, screaming her frustration into her hands, not even trying to stop the tears. She threw her feet in the water, soaking her boots, socks and her leggings, but she didn’t care. She didn’t want to feel. 

She was lucky Hawkmoth wasn’t active tonight.

Marinette wrapped her arms around her, and she felt Tikki’s calming aura radiate from her purse.

"Thanks, Tikki...” Marinette trailed off in a broken voice, her sobs wracking her body once again. She stared down into the water, kicking her legs to avoid her reflection.

“God damn it, I’m such a fucking idiot! I saw it coming and I’m still… still like this, I just…” She shuddered out, screwing her eyes closed. She was talking to Tikki, of course, and didn’t expect anyone else to be around. She didn't even notice that someone else had sat beside her on the canal.

“I don’t know what this is about, but you’re not an idiot.” A voice beside her spoke, warm and melodious. Marinette screamed and jumped, pitching herself forward into the Seine, before being grabbed around her waist and steadied by two, strong, comforting, familiar arms. 

“Luka I- sorry, I’m um-“ Marinette stuttered, wiping quickly at her eyes, avoiding contact with his, “I’m fine, sorry to worry you!” She said, her voice dripping with false confidence. She was staring at the ground between them, her arms still holding herself. Her feet were still in the river, she noted absently. 

“Marinette.” His voice held steady. Marinette shook her head.  
“Marinette.” He said again, with severity. He then gently laid a hand on her chin, and guided her face to his.  
Her eyes locked with his, and the moment she met his kind, and someone understanding gaze, she felt the tears come rushing back.  
“Marinette,” he spoke again, oh so softly, oh so gently, “what happened to you?” he asked, his thumb stroking her cheek lightly. 

“It’s… my own fault, really. I should have known.” She sighed, the tears rolling down once again, “But I’m fine. Or I… I will be.” She responded, breaking down once again. 

“Hey. Hey, no. Come on. It’s me, Marinette. You can tell me. You can be yourself around me, okay? None of that fake happy bullshit you put out. No more of keeping this stuff to yourself. I’m here. I’m here for you,” Luka responded, his other arm going around her waist,  
“Or don’t. Tell me everything or tell me nothing at all. Either way, I’ll be here for you, however I can.”

He turned his body toward her completely, and he watched as her façade crumbled. She suddenly picked her legs up out of the water and she pitched her body fully into his, knocking him back a bit. The guitar on his back hit the concrete, and he shrugged it off without a care, his arms wrapping around her fully, pulling the heartbroken girl into his chest. 

“I’m not okay, I’m not, and I haven’t been in a long time! I’m… I’m so, so tired, Luka. I’m so goddamn tired, and I don’t know what to do.” She responded, and she sobbed into his chest. Luka tightened his hold on her, and buried his face in her hair, kissing the top of it over and over again. She grabbed the front of his jacket, holding it like a lifeline. And she spilled it all to him, or what she could; she left out everything about Ladybug, obviously, even though that was a large part of what had developed her anxiety and frayed her nerves. But she did talk about her classmates and Adrien and her exhaustion. And she… wasn’t sure if she felt better. She just felt nervous. 

Luka didn’t say anything, but hummed as she talked, stroking her hair, kissing her head, comforting her in anyway he could.  
It was 9 pm, the stars were out, and the temperature had dropped, and Marinette was shivering. Once she had grown silent, Luka stopped humming, and cleared his throat to speak. 

“You’re still not an idiot," he said calmly, “you’re probably the smartest person I know. Thank you for telling me. I hate when you face things alone…” Luka trailed off and then simply sighed. He figured she needed this right now. “Marinette, I know you. I know… who you are. I know you’re tired of… lying and hiding. I know there’s more to you than classmates and school and Adrien. I know.” Luka said without outright saying it; they were still in public, after all, even if no one was around. He felt Marinette tense up in his arms and knew she wanted to run. 

“I obviously won’t tell anyone,” He said lowly, his head dipping down by her ear, ignoring the shiver that ran up her spine that he definitely felt, “But I know. I’ve known for a long time. Your hearts are the same. But I didn’t want to freak you out. But anyway... I know that - I know it must be so difficult in ways I cant understand. With all of your personal life piling up... I can't imagine. But you'll be alright. You're the strongest person I know.” Luka explained, stroking her back soothingly. Marinette stayed tense for a moment, and then all but collapsed. 

“I should deny it,” he heard her mumble after a minute, “But I don’t want to. I can’t anymore. Luka, I’m… so tired. Of it all. I… I know Adrien had a crush on… the other me. I know Chat was in love. But they’ve both moved on it seems, and I just wonder… if even she can’t keep their interest, what chance does Marinette stand?” She responded after a minute. Luka frowned. 

“Marinette is incredible. You wouldn’t be her if you weren’t Marinette first. Marinette is the one I developed feelings for, not her.” Luka said simply. Marinette was still for a moment and then worked her arms around his neck, drawing herself up, putting her head in his neck. Luka’s eyes widened slightly. 

“I’m sorry, Luka.” She whispered, her breath hitting his neck, sending a shiver through him. He stayed silent, waiting for her to go on, confused.  
“I’m sorry for talking to you about Adrien when I know how you feel about me. I’m sorry, I know this has to hurt. I… I know it hurts. Watching the person you… you…” She trailed off for a moment, “watching them like someone else.” She replied. Luka released a breath through his nose. 

“It hurts, yeah, but because you’re hurting. I just want you to be happy Mari. Even if it’s not with me.” He responded, nuzzling her head with his own. Marinette sighed.

“Y-yeah…” She replied. They sat for a few more minutes, before he gave her a squeeze.

“Marinette, you’re cold. Lets get you home.” He responded. She shook her head.

“I… don’t want to go home. I’ll just be upset and probably cry again. I can’t ask you to stay with me, but I’m not going home.” She replied, breaking free from his grip.

“Well, why not come home with me then?” Luka asked smoothly. Marinette blushed brightly at him, eyes wide. She stammered a bit, before he smiled easily at her. 

“Just to get you some warm clothes. And so you don’t have to go home.” Luka responded. Marinette nodded then, and he stood with a hand held out to her, which she accepted. He then bent down to pick up his guitar.

“Oh, Luka! The bottom is chipped, I -did I do that? I’m so sorry!” Marinette gushed, eyes extremely apologetic. Luka simply shrugged and slung it over his back again. 

“It doesn’t matter as much.” He said simply, reaching out bravely to take her hand in his, and they began walking to his boathouse. 

/

Luka was a good kid. He was kind, and he stood up for what he believed in. He wouldn’t do anything to disgrace his mother or harm Juleka. He was level-headed and kind, even if he did struggle with his own problems.  
Luka was a good kid, a gentleman. He was just struggling with some not-good thoughts right now.  
It wasn’t his fault that the love of his life was getting changed near him, with only a curtain separating them. He was 17, sue him for having less-than-good thoughts about his friend, his very good friend, if not his best friend. And also the girl he happened to love with all of his heart. 

“Luka?” The voice called out shyly, and he snapped out of his thoughts, a blush adorning his face. 

“Yes, Ma-Ma-Marinette?” He called back gently. She moved the curtain aside, and her head poked through. She was wearing her sweatshirt still, she was just wearing his sweatpants while her leggings, socks and boots dried in the dryer. 

“Are you sure this is okay?” She asked, pulling at the sweatpants nervously. They were baggy on her, and he could tell they were barely clinging to her hips, and she had to roll them several times so they didn’t collect all by her feet. Luka had never seen a more endearing sight in his entire life. 

“Yes, absolutely.” He replied instantly, causing a blush to sprout on her own face. They stared at each other for a second before Luka pulled his eyes away. He cleared his throat lightly, then moved to his bed, patting the space next to him for her. She sat next to him, crossing her legs on his bed and turning towards him. He smiled at her.

“So, Mari, it’s Friday night, it’s not even ten yet. How about I play you a new piece, and when your clothes are done, I’ll take you for an adventure?” He asked. Marinette quirked a eyebrow. 

“What kind of adventure?” She asked cautiously, eyeing him skeptically. 

“A surprise adventure.”

Marinette smiled, and then she simply laughed. Luka leaned over and grabbed his guitar, strumming it lightly. Juleka was out with Rose and his mom was out about Paris, but he still didn’t want to hook his electric guitar up to the speaker, though that was what he preferred; he wanted soft, acoustic music to soothe his girl- his friend. To soothe his friend.

He began plucking a few notes, the beginning of his song turning into a new melody. It was song he’d been creating for Marinette, though she didn’t know. Luka closed his eyes to focus on the music, bobbing his head along slightly. He turned his head and opened his eyes once he felt a head on his shoulder next to him; Marinette had crawled over and was resting her body next to his. Luka blushed, and before he could stop himself, he kissed the top of her head lightly. He heard her let out a contented sigh. 

“Thank you, Luka.” She said aloud as he strummed her song. He hummed in response, still looking at her.

“I never told you how beautiful I think your hair is down like this. Of course, you’re always beautiful, but… you never wear your hair down.” Luka replied, fumbling a bit with his compliment. He heard Marinette giggle lightly and his heart was squeezed. 

“Thanks. I just didn’t feel like putting it up tonight when I left. People don’t usually see me with it down.” She replied casually. He smiled, and he played again.

/

“Alright dove, your clothes are dry. Put them on and we’ll start our adventure,” Luka replied, plopping her clothes on his bed. The night had felt so intimate, the pet name had just slipped past his lips, but he ignored it and hoped she would, too.

“Alright, I trust you.” She replied, stretching her arms above her head, popping her shoulders. Luka gazed at her, watching her form, before realizing that maybe he should leave so she could actually change. 

“I’ll be on the upper deck, just come up when you’re ready.” Luka called, hearing her hum an affirmative before he left. 

Luka emerged onto the deck, soaking in the night air. It was 10 pm now, and Juleka would probably be home soon, so this truly was good timing. Luka knew that she and Marinette were on good terms, But he didn’t know if she could handle seeing anyone else right now. He tried not to take pride in the fact that she was relying on him right now.  
Laughter caught his ears and he looked down below and saw the two people Marinette couldn’t see right now. Frustration pricked his heart as he saw them walk hand-in-hand by his boat, walking along the Seine. 

“Oh, hi, Luka!” Adrien called, waving good-naturedly. Luka waved back half-heartedly. 

“Any plans for the night?” Adrien asked again, his hand still intertwined with Kagami’s, who was simply smiling at him.  
“Uh, yeah, I’m-” He started to call back, tell them that he was leaving so they'd continue on their way, when, 

“Luka, I’m ready!” His favorite song called, and in a panic, he turned towards Marinette, who was emerging onto the upper deck. He knew she couldn’t see them again, and he didn’t know what else to do.  
“Marinette!” He said loudly, and before she could ask him what was going on, he strode over to her, pulled her close and dipped his head down, capturing her lips with his. He hoped she wouldn’t hate him, he hoped Kagami and Adrien would get the hint and walk away, He hoped she’d be okay. He just hoped that-

Was she kissing him back?

Luka’s eyes snapped open and peered down at her; her eyes were shut. He could feel the smile on her lips, and he could feel her hands moving up his chest, up to wrap around his neck. Luka closed his eyes again, smiling into the kiss, wrapping one arm around her waist, and the other up to feel her silky hair. Their lips meshed together, and once they broke apart, he kissed her lightly twice again, before kissing her cheek and then peering down at her. She looked surprised, confused, and happy.

“Uh… hey.” He said, his brain lagging like Microsoft 7, the gears struggling to turn. She giggled in response. 

“Sorry. That was sudden,” He tried to explain. Marinette nodded, urging him to go on. “I, um… well you know how I feel. I wanted to do that all night, for a lot of nights, actually. I’m sorry, I know it was unwarranted, and I know how you feel about… yeah. I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship.” He said nervously, despite still holding her closely. Her blue eyes roved over his face, searching for something he didn’t know. She smiled softly at him.

“I don’t really mind. It was… nice. You’re nice. It’s nice to be… liked. Wanted, whatever. But I think maybe we should hold off until I’m entirely moved on from… Adrien.” Marinette responded, halting slightly. Luka nodded in understanding, then paused. 

“Wait. What? Hold off until… wait, so…” Luka trailed off, confused. Marinette smiled, and one of her hands came up to caress the side of his face, her thumb smoothing over his cheek.

“I like you, Luka. Not just as a friend. But I have a lot of issues and a lot of confusing feelings. And I want to sort them out before we actually give this a chance. And I want to move on from Adrien. It’s what you deserve.” Marinette replied honestly. Luka’s brain crashed, like two trains running into each other. He gaped slightly, and before he could say anything else, his body reacted on his own, and he hugged her tightly to him, in a loving embrace. 

/

They had been walking in companionable silence for about ten minutes when Marinette finally broke it. 

“So, are we just going to be walking all night?” She asked jokingly, looking over at her friend. Luka snorted.

“Not quite. We’ve only got a few more minutes.” He replied, Nudging her with his shoulder teasingly. Marinette nodded. 

“I don’t know that I’ve ever been to this place before, and I’ve been all over Paris.” She replied, looking around. Luka shrugged. 

“Not many people come here, there’s not much here. Plus, everything looks different at night.” He supplied. Marinette simply nodded again, and they lapsed back into comfortable silence.  
True to his word, they had arrived at their destination a few minutes later. 

“…A junkyard?” Marinette asked in confusion, “Wow Luka, you really know how to impress a girl.” She said flatly. Luka laughed aloud, and reached out and grabbed her hand lightly, tugging her forward. There was a man at the booth at the entrance, looking bored as anything, the electronic gate closed tightly. 

“Hey, Phil!” Luka said, walking right up to the booth, tugging a very confused Marinette with him. The man brightened up.

“Luka Couffaine! Man, it’s been a minute since I’ve seen you here.” The man replied, eyeing Marinette. Luka cleared his throat. 

“Yeah, I know. This is my friend, Marinette,” Luka paused, emphasizing the ‘friend’, and Phil’s eyes snapped back to his, “anyway, we’d like a wreck.” Luka replied, producing some money from his pocket, sliding it to the man in the booth. Phil nodded in compliance. 

“Sure thing, dude. Boss comes around in two hours, so be gone before then.” Phil replied, then opened the gate. Luka thanked him, and he pulled Marinette inside, before Phil closed the gate again.

“I’m not even going to ask anymore questions.” Marinette mumbled, to which Luka laughed. Luka navigated them through the junkyard until he came upon a small shed and grabbed two heavy metal baseball bats out of it, handing one to her, before continuing on their trek. They stopped at an old junker car, surrounded by computers, old TVs, and other discarded goods. 

“Alright , now we get to have fun.” Luka said simply, before swinging his bat at an old computer monitor sitting on top of a desk, breaking the screen and wiping it off of the desk. Marinette flinched at the sound of the crash, and looked at Luka like he was crazy.

“What are we doing? Is this legal?” She asked, staring at him with wide eyes. He grinned. 

“It’s catharsis, Marinette. Hit something. I guarantee it’ll make you feel better.” He replied, ignoring her question about the legality of their activity. 

“But you already made me feel better.”  
Luka suppressed a blush at that. He shrugged. 

“On a surface level. But… this made me feel better in my core, when I was going through my problems. It helps get a lot of frustration out, without having to talk. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes I don’t.” He replied. Marinette chewed her lip, and then nodded. She walked up, grabbed the bat, and…  
Tapped the headlight of the car. Luka’s boisterous laughter sounded behind her, and she blushed.

“Come on, Marinette! Pretend that headlight is Lila, or… Hawkmoth. Just hit it.” He replied, encouraging her. Marinette frowned, then huffed, and she wound back up. Marinette then swung the bat with all of her might, and with a crash, shattered the glass of the headlight. Marinette blinked; she didn’t expect to feel such… satisfaction from that. Wasn’t she the hero of creation? Wasn’t Chat the hero of destruction?  
Chat. His distance lately, his preoccupation… her mixed feelings about the fact that he was getting over her…  
She swung the bath again, hitting the other headlight and knocking it out. Marinette blinked, and smiled.

“Well done.” Luka said simply, coming up beside her. He said nothing more, but raised the bat, and brought it down upon the windshield, which barely budged. Marinette frowned, and also hit the glass of the windshield, putting a dent in it.

“We can break it together.” Luka commented, and Marinette simply nodded, raising her bat to strike it again.  
Their bats came down on the windshield, leaving two satisfying shatter marks on it.

“Stupid Lila,” Marinette growled, swinging her bat again, “stupid Hawkmoth,” she hit the windshield again, as did Luka,” stupid Fu, for giving two teenagers the Miraculouses!” She ground out again, bringing the bat down with even more force, heaving, as Luka did the same. One more hit should do it. Luka was watching her closely. 

“Stupid classmates who constantly choose Lila over me, when I’ve never been anything but nice! I try so hard to help people, I try so hard to be a good person, and it doesn’t even matter! I cant have my friends, I can’t have Adrien, I just have goddamn near-death crime-fighting experiences almost daily!” Marinette screamed, and she brought the bat down again, in pure fury, shattering the windshield in one fell swoop, watching the glass cave and cover the interior of the car. Luka said nothing as she heaved with exertion, but simply moved to an old glass-screen TV, and swung. 

“Stupid fucking Adrien for hurting Marinette constantly,” she heard him mumble as he took a swing, “stupid fucking dad for leaving us,” he swung again, shattering the screen, “stupid classmates for choosing wrong!” He finished, much quieter than she did, and he knocked the rest of the glass out of the screen. Marinette stood beside him, and without saying a word, she swung her bat, knocking the inside of the television, making sparks fly out the circuitry and tubes, knocking it to the ground.  
“I'm tired,” Marinette said again, advancing on an old computer tower, “I’m so goddamn tired! Of everything!” She yelled, releasing a furry of blows upon the old tower, before finally smacking it onto the ground. She continued to scream as she hit it more, into the ground, smashing it to a pulp.  
“I just want to do music! I just want to be successful! I just want to be better than that dick ever was!” Luka yelled, smashing his bat over the rickety wooden desk. Marinette joined him and swung at the base of the desk, and silently, in solidarity, the broke the desk down.

They continued in some fashion, breaking down everything around them, eventually putting dents all over the car, smashing the windows, and the back windshield out. Sometimes they would yell their frustrations, sometimes they wouldn’t. 

Once the car was entirely destroyed and their arms and hands were sore, Luka looked over to her. She was panting, clearly exerted herself, and he thought she was gorgeous as ever.  
They stood together, looking at their wreckage, saying nothing. She stepped to his side, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leaning on each other. After a minute, he pulled out his phone. 

“11pm,” he mumbled, loud enough for her to hear, “we should get out of here. You should get home.” He said, squeezing her shoulders lightly. She shrugged, looking around. After a few moments of silence, she smiled. 

“Thanks, Luka. I do feel better. It was nice to just do something and not think.” She said aloud, turning her head up to him. He looked down at her with half-lidded eyes and smiled. Marinette stared into his eyes, and before he knew it, she had leaned up on her toes, and softly connected their lips again, so quickly and lightly, before she broke away, her face ablaze. She looked back down at the ground, and he smiled. 

“I’ll walk you home.” He replied softly, removing his arm from around her shoulders, grabbing her hand and tugging her along. 

/

“Where’s your mom and Juleka?” Marinette asked casually as they walked out of the junkyard. Luka looked down at her. 

“Juleka texted a bit ago that she’ll be at Rose’s for the entire weekend, and Mom also texted and said that she went on a last-minute weekend sailing convention with her new boyfriend.” Luka answered, a note of curiosity in his voice. Marinette hummed. 

“So, you’re saying that no one’s home…?” Marinette clarified. Luka’s throat tightened as he nodded. 

“Oh, well… what if I… didn’t go home…?” Marinette asked, her hands wringing together as she shook in nervousness. Luka halted in their walk, and he turned to face her, a questioning look in his eyes. Marinette sighed.

"Bad idea, I'm sorry. I just... if I'm alone again, I'll start thinking, and..." Marinette trailed off as she bit her lip. Luka was having an internal struggle with himself; of course nothing would happen, so why was he so nervous? Wasn't he just helping out his friend?

"It's not a bad idea," Luka started, "but what would you want to do?" He asked, continuing to walk. Marinette's face exploded in a blush, and he quickly amended, "Not like that! I was just wondering if you'd want to play music, or watch a movie or something, and if you'd... stay the night." Luka responded slowly. Marinette chewed her lip.

"I'm not sure. A movie sounds good," She started, "I can text my parents and let them know that I'm with friends and I might crash at Juleka's for a sleepover." She replied. Luka nodded, lost in thought; she was always telling half-truths, mainly because she was so used to it. But still...

"You sure you're cool with lying to your parents?"

Marinette gazed at him with a flat look. Alright, that was a yes.

"Alright, Mari. Whatever you want." He ceded, taking her hand lightly, reveling in the smile she afforded him.

/

Their walk to the Liberty was in comfortable silence. They walked hand-in-hand and Marinette was just enjoying her time away from her friends, without having to Ladybug. Somehow, Luka made it bearable.  
They arrived back at the ship, and Luka helped Marinette aboard, where she finally received a text of approval from her Maman, who told her to have a good time. 

"Alright, I'm going to get changed really quickly. Make yourself at home Mari." Luka said warmly before ducking below deck. Marinette loved being on the Liberty; it was away from the center of the city, so the stars could be seen more clearly. Marinette took a deep breath and let it out; she then laid down on the deck, just feeling the rocking of the river beneath the boat, staring at the stars, trying to find constellations.  
Marinette pulled out her phone, wondering whether or not to open Snapchat. Alya told her that she'd be busy tonight, but didn't tell her with what, and Marinette was sure that Lila was involved. They were supposed to hang out tomorrow, and Marinette would tell Alya about Adrien and Kagami's date, and Alya would comfort her. But the hurt that Alya implanted onto Marinette when she remained to be friends with Lila, and even chose her side on multiple occasions, seemed like it would never leave.  
Marinette put her phone away. She didn't want to be sad again.

"Whatcha doing?" Luka's calm voice washed over her as he appeared above-deck once again. She craned her head to look at him as he walked over to her before laying on the floor next to her.

"Looking at the stars; feeling the waves." She replied simply. Luka nodded and the two lasped into silence.  
Luka began to hum absent-mindedly, and Marinette closed her eyes, feeling a sense of peace unfurl in her heart. 

"Do you sing?" Marinette asked quietly.

"Sometimes. It's not my forte." Luka replied, resuming his humming. 

"I like your regular voice so much, I'm sure I'd love your singing voice."  
Luka's face bloomed into a brilliant blush and he was thankful that Marinette's eyes were closed. Luka thought of any song he could sing, and only one came to mind.

Luka's voice filled the empty space between them, softly at first, then gaining strength.

_"Whenever it's early twilight, I watch until a star breaks through... funny it's not a star I see, it's always you,_  
_Whenever I roam through roses, and lately I often do, funny it's not a rose I touch, it's always you._  
_If a breeze caresses me, it's really you strolling by,_  
_if i hear a melody, it's merely the way you sigh..."_

Luka trailed off, not able to finish the stanza. Marinette turned her head and opened her eyes, locking her gaze with his.

"That was beautiful, Luka," Marinette breathed, "sing me another?"  
So of course he did.

_"When I saw you standing there, I about fell out my chair,_  
_and when you moved your mouth to speak, I felt the blood go to my feet._  
_Now it took time for me to know, what you tried so hard not to show,_  
_something in my soul just cried, I see the want in your blue eyes._  
_Baby, I'd love you to want me, the way that I want you, the way that it should be..."_

Luka trailed off again, and Marinette stayed quiet for a minute, before moving closer to him, hesitantly resting her head on his chest.

"One more," she whispered, and Luka rumbled a laugh. 

"Sure thing, Marinette."  
Luka wracked his brain for a moment before stumbling upon a song he had forgotten.

_"I see you when you're down and depressed, just a mess_  
_I see you when you cry, when you're shy_  
_I see you when you smile, it takes a while_  
_At least you're here_  
_I see you, yes, I see you_  
_I see you when you hide_  
_And when you lie, it's no surprise_  
_I see you when run from the light_  
_Within your eyes..."_

Marinette buried her head in his chest and breathed deeply, and one of Luka's arms came around her form, his hand resting on her shoulder, rubbing soothing circles into it. Marinette squeeze into him once more, between rolling away from him.

"Thanks, Luka. your voice really is beautiful." She commented, slowly sitting up to stretch her back. She turned to look down at him properly, and her mind stalled entirely.  
He was wearing his gray sweatpants and a black, tight t-shirt. But what drew her eyes were his tattoos; he always wore his hoodie, so she hadn't really seen the tattoo on his bicep. She eyed it, and gave his form a good once-over; she wondered if he had anymore tattoos hidden under his clothes. The tattoo on his bicep was a snake curling around his bicep and seemingly up onto his shoulder, with some linework flowers done around it. 

"I didn't know you had tattoos," Marinette said in bewilderment, her eyes snapping back to his. He smiled easily.

"They're just another form of art, right?" He asked. Marinette smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. I really like tattoos. I'd love to have some one day. Do you have anymore?" She asked, reaching a hand out to trace the snake curling up his arm.

"Nah, but I have a bunch planned out. The one on my arm is part of a sleeve I have planned. I'm going to get it finished whenever I get the money." He replied, staring at her hand as it traced shapes into his bicep.

"What other ones do you want?" Luka smiled, he enjoyed her curiosity.

"After this sleeve is finished, I would love to get a cat skull wrapped in vines on my left calf. I also want something for my family, maybe on my ribs. I haven't decided on that one yet."  
Marinette nodded.

"I want to get flowers or something as an underbust tattoo, or like, a sternum piece." She commented casually, as if the idea of her getting getting any type of rib tattoo wouldn't make Luka feel like he got effectively punched in the lungs, 

"O-Oh, that's cool. Underbust tattoos are nice, but they hurt." Luka commented in what he hoped was a collected way. Marinette snorted.

"I think I can handle a needle. I've had worse." Luka nodded, her being Ladybug slipped from his mind entirely.

"Yeah, I guess that's true. Any others you have in mind?"

"I kind of want one that says 'mise en place', which, in baking terms, essentially means, have all of your ingredients ready before you start the process. Or, get your shit together." Marinette explained, to which Luka laughed.

"I like that. Any idea where?" Marinette hummed in thought.

"I was thinking on my shoulder, or... I know this is probably not a great idea, but I'd love to have the lettering going down my spine." She replied, a bit red in the face, and Luka once again had to act like she wasn't saying the sexiest things in his mind. A strangled noise sounded from his throat, and he quickly nodded his agreement, while Marinette looked at him bemusedly. 

"Anyway," he started, "want to watch a movie?" Marinette agreed, then stood up and stretched, holding her hand out to help Luka up. He grabbed ahold of her hand, and with a surprising strength, she pulled him to his feet. I mean, sure he knew she was Ladybug, but he didn't really take the time to consider the effects of her being Ladybug.

"The TV is in the living room, why don't you pick out a movie on Hulu or a DVD and I'll make us some hot chocolate." Luka suggested, his hand on the small of her back, guiding her below. She nodded, and bounded off to the living room. Luka sighed, trying to stop his heart from jumping out of his chest, and set to work fixing the hot chocolates.  
Soon, his task was done, and with two hot mugs in hand, he returned to the living room to find Marinette curled up on his couch, a movie ready on screen. She had a blanket over her lap, but had left some on the empty part of the couch; for him, he realized. She wanted him to be right by her side. Luka quelled the fluttering in his heart and moved towards her, handing her a mug of cocoa, picking up the blanket and getting under it, sure to give Marinette some space.

"So, what are we watching?" He glanced at her, sipping some cocoa. Marinette simply smiled and hit play on the remote. 

The first scene started; rain was pouring down on a house, and inside, two boys were talking, one making a paper boat for the other. 

"It?" Luka asked in surprise, looking down at Marinette with wide eyes. She simply smiled back up at him. 

"I kind of like horror movies, plus, it's not like I want to watch a romcom right now." She replied, taking a drink out of her mug. Luka simply shrugged.

The movie progressed, and the two were so engrossed that they'd finished their hot chocolate in no time, setting them on the coffee table. After many scares and jumps, Marinette had somehow ended up in Luka's arms, not that either of them minded, or even noticed. Luka's arms were wrapped securely around her waist, and her back was against his chest, her head against his shoulder. 

"Oh, Beverly no!" Marinette shouted, her hand automatically gripping one of Luka's arms. He smiled goofily, dropping his head onto Marinette's shoulder to hide his love-struck expression. God, how he adored her; even over simple things, like getting invested in a movie, or her expression when she was beating the absolute hell out of a computer, even when she was crying, he just adored her. He picked his head back up to see the TV, only to come face-to-face with Pennywise, which made him tighten his hold on Marinette instinctively. She giggled and snuggled back into his chest, and his heart beat erratically.

/

Marinette yawned, her head drooping. He shook her slightly. 

"Come on Marinette, we should get to bad. It's really late." He said lowly. It had ended, and he put on a show as background noise as they talked about anything and everything that crossed their mind. Marinette just grumbled, and she picked her head up and looked at Luka.

"You can sleep in Jules' bed for the night." He suggested, standing up and cracking his back, then looking back down at Marinette, who had kept quiet. He simply caught her gaze and raised an eyebrow at her. 

"It would feel weird sleeping in her bed..." She trailed off, breaking her gaze, chewing on her lip. Luka's eyebrows rose.

"Marinette, you're killing me." He said exasperatedly. He obviously didn't mind hanging out with her, they were friends, and honestly, he'd take any time with her that he could get. But sleeping in the same bed together, when she was still obviously 'in love' with Adrien...  
His train of thought crashed together as he heard her shriek and his eyes snapped to hers, seeing her face beet red.

"Oh, Luka, no! I just - I just meant that I'd sleep on the couch!" Marinette shrieked, her eyes wide. Luka immediately blushed and stammered.

"I- I- oh! I'm sorry," he amended, "but I'm also not letting you sleep on the couch. I'll take the couch. You can take my bed, you're more used to that one." He replied, trying to smooth over his faux-pa. Marinette's face blushed brilliantly still, and she simply shook her head. 

"No, you've done enough for me, Luka. Especially tonight. I'm not taking your bed from you too." Marinette replied. Luka sighed but knew she wasn't going to budge.

"Alright, fine. Do you need anything before we sleep?" He asked kindly. She just shook her head. 

"Goodnight, Luka. And... thank you." she replied. He simply ruffled her hair, smiled at her,

"Goodnight, Ma-Ma-Marinette."

Luka went to his own room, laid in his bed, and was shortly adrift.

/

Luka woke up, his eyes blinking in the bleariness of his room. Luka rubbed his eyes and grabbed his phone off of the nightstand; it was 2:52 in the morning, only about an hour since they went to sleep. He looked around his room confusedly before he heard it: sniffles.  
Luka padded out of his room immediately, walking into the living room, squinting in the darkness.  
When his vision adjusted, he saw a ball of blankets, and could hear the love of his life crying underneath him. His heart ached for her; her heart was playing a cacophonous melody of heartbreak and deep sadness. Luka deflated, and he walked over instantly.

"Mari," his voice called softly, to which he saw her tense up, "come on."

"W-what?" Her cracked voice questioned.

"Come on. My room. I'm not leaving you out here to cry alone." He explained, waiting for her to stand up from the couch. There was silence for a moment. 

"Are... Are you sure...?" She asked hesitantly. Luka sighed. 

"Yeah, I am. Come on." He replied, holding a hand out to her. She emerged from her blanket cocoon and stood up, slowly working her way over to him.

Luka couldn't help but indulge in this moment. Here he was, with Marinette, at 3 in the morning, moonlight streaming in through the portholes, alighting everything in an ethereal glow. It bounced off of her skin, off of her eyes, it made her black hair shine with a blue hue, and he swore she was more beautiful than anyone he would ever encounter. As her pale hand joined with his, he stared into her eyes, lost and utterly drawn in, and he could hear her heart song bump erratically, seemingly just as nervous as his. This moment was so... intimate, Luka's mind was whirling around, a storm of thoughts and feelings, lost in the raging tide of his own mind. 

"Luka?"

Marinette's sweet, melodic voice reached his ears, and he was snapped back to the present, his focus entirely on the girl in front of him, who was looking at him with all of the trust and love in this world, and he squeezed her hand gently. 

"It's okay. You will be okay." He whispered, pulling her gently towards his room. 

"Maybe one day." He heard her mumble, and he frowned. They got to the bed, and he sat down, then rolled over to the other side. 

"You will be, Marinette. This stage of your life just really sucks right now. But someday, you'll defeat Hawkmoth, and you won't have to worry about him anymore, and someday, you'll... be with someone who appreciates and loves you. Like you should be." He responded, reprimanding her negative thinking lightly. He pat the bed next to him as he snuggled under the covers, and Marinette followed suit. She was rigid, as if she didn't know what to do or how to act, and Luka frowned once more. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable; he wanted her to be able to go to sleep.

"Hey," he said softly, to which she turned her head, "are you okay with this?" He asked again, just to be sure. She smiled at him lightly and nodded, and he slowly reached out towards her face, wiping her tears from her face with his thumb. She leaned into his touch. 

"I want to make you comfortable," he started, "how can I do that?" Marinette hummed.

"Can I... can you... um..." Marinette sighed, shaking her head. Luka raised an eyebrow.

"Can I what, Mari?"

"This isn't fair to you. I know how you feel. I'm... taking advantage of you, Luka!" She said fervently. 

"No, no, no. You're not. Marinette, you just need someone. You've been very cautious of me this entire time, and I appreciate that. It's okay, I promise you. I'm glad you feel safe enough with me to show me how you truly feel." He responded, his hand still on her cheek, his thumb now caressing her skin. She sighed and looked away from him.

"Can you hold me?"

Luka's heart squeezed.

"Yeah."

And with that, Luka took ahold of her by the waist and wrapped his arms entirely around her, pulling her to his chest. He instantly heard her heart song be lulled into its usual harmony, and he relaxed a bit.

"Goodnight, Luka." She responded, her voice already heavy. 

"Goodnight, Marinette."

/

**Author's Note:**

> songs mentioned: it's always you by Chet Baker  
I'd Love You To Want Me by Lobo  
I See You by Missio


End file.
